FallenSins

This is exactly what I need....something, anything, and everything that will ignite a fire under my hands and get them moving!

I have felt so uninspired lately, but screw that I want to make art! I want to practice! I want to do a drawin' goshdangit and Ima do it ~_~ This will hopefully get the ball rolling -prays to jebus- pleeeeease get the ball rolling be it literally or figuratively >_<

Anyway I'll be updating this journal to put out my thoughts or frustrations about daily life hopefully I can actually keep it up and not fall off the face of dA again =^=;

Lately I find it harder and harder to let go
Why is it so hard to toss away one's feelings
Constant thoughts of the same face always come to mind...
Thoughts the face placed here is yours
Why can't it be easy as its said?
Fuck it all?
Haunting me in the midst of my daily life
Reality of it all is I can't have what I want
Why won't you give it to me its only a simple request?
I know its not easy, but I'd make sure to take care
Of it, of you
So easier to think out the resolution, harder to actually act on my thoughts
To talk with you over such things
Its gripping at my throat, try to choke out the words
They can't be said
I think I love you
Its tearing me apart body soul and heart
For once I think I know what I want
Its so annoying that I can't have you!
So irritating and at the same time I know I'm only hurting myself staying so cloe
I try to make it through my life, through these lies but there's you
Standing in my way, but I'm the one who has put you there
My greatest obstacle, fiercest opponent
I can't fight the feeling
You continue to TEMPT me, I wonder if you realize what you do to me?
I wonder if you even care?
You said you felt some way towards me
But was that a lie? Friendship doesn't seem to be enough
Its getting harder to try and get a reaction, your a mountain iced over from some coldness you harbor, but why?
I feel like this every day
And what's worse I find myself falling even harder and faster and I don't know why
Spiraling out of control I hate to lose myself
But its been a while since I was behind the wheel of my own heart
What should I do??
Where should I go?
How could I just erase them...
Erase the feelings I feel as if they're nonexistant...its much easier said than done.

You're a 90's kid if...
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

You remember watching:

[x] Kenan and Kel;
[X] Doug;
[X] Ren & Stimpy;
[X] Pinky & the Brain;
[X] AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!;
[X] Rocko's Modern Life;
[X] Animaniacs;
[X] Gargoyles:
[X] Hey Arnold!;
[ ] Out of the Box;
[X] Bear in the Big Blue House.

[X] You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!";
[X] You just can't resist finishing this: "In west Philadelphia born and raised..."

You remember:

[X] Step by Step;
[X] Family Matters;
[ ] Dinosaurs;
[X] Boy Meets World;
[X] Full House.
[X] You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons;
[X] You remember reading Goosebumps.

When everything was settled by:

[X] "Rock/paper/scissors";
[X] "Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish";
[X] "Miss Mary Mack".
[X] When kickball was something you did everyday;
[ ] You used to listen to the radio all day long;
[ ] Just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape.

[X] You remember Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis;
[X] You remember The Original Game Boy;
[X] You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos... but never taped anything funny;

You remember watching:

[X] The Magic School Bus;
[X] Wishbone;
[ ] Reading Rainbow;
[ ] Ghostwriter.

[X] You remember when Yo-Yo's were cool;
[ ] You remember those "Where's Waldo" books;
[X] You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gushers.

You remember watching:

[X] Batman the Animated Series;
[X] Aladdin;
[X] Ninja Turtles;
[X] Ghost Busters.

[X] You remember Ring Pops!!!;
[X] You remember when everything was "da BOMB!";
[ ] You remember boom boxes vs. CD players;
[X] Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them
[ ] You played and/or collected Pogs;
[X] You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere you went.

You watched the original cartoons of:

[X] Rugrats;
[X] Wild Thornberrys;
[X] Power Rangers.

[ ] All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.

You collected:

[X] Beanie Babies;
[X] Pokemon cards;
[ ] Carebears;
[ ] Silver dollars.

You remember when:

[X] Everyone watched the WB;
[X] Everybody knew all the Pokemon by heart;
[X] Digimon was still on;
[ ] If you even know what an original Walkman is;
[X] You know the Macarena by heart;
[X] "Talk to the hand";
[X] You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace and it was still sanitary;
[X] Before the MySpace frenzy;
[X] Before the Internet & text messaging;
[X] Before Sidekicks & iPods;
[X] Before PlayStation3 or X-Box 360;
[X] Back before X-Box period;
[X] Before SpongeBob;
[X] When light up sneakers were cool;
[X] When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs;
[ ] When gas was $0.95 a gallon;
[X] When we recorded stuff on VCR;
[X] You had slap bracelets;
[X] You actually played outside until it was dark;
[X] Way back before we realized all this would eventually disappear
[X] Post this if you smiled at least more than 5 times;
[X] And if you remember at least half the stuff on here

Take this quiz! Why? Cause its fun! Its like walking down memory lane ha...I liked it you should try too...<3
Just as long as you were born in 95' and under

I need not to strain my eyes
Like a river of salty water
Streaming down my cheeks
Only to burn mercifullessly

I want to break
Like a thin wooden board
Crack from the weight
Setting on the heart

I feel like shattering
Like glass, drop me
To the floor, crash
No need for the pieces
They can't fit back together

I'd like to shine
With a smile like the sun
But the corners of my mouth
They won't lift

I've got to stay strong
Like a warrior
In the heat of battle
Forever brave

I have to keep painting
A mask on my face
A smile, that facade
An act everyday

I must not feel this pain
Though it is evident
Like a stab in the back
Can't bleed for it shows humanity
Within me

I feel that cold
Engulfing me like a wave
I can not breathe for the water
It fills my lungs and crushes them

Like a bomb
I wait
To explode
With these emotions of mine

I locked the door
Do not let them fall out
I fear I will
Lose myself in them
Like a wind, swept me away

I fear and hate
I cry and scream
I...I am within myself a mess

Lost without that hand to guide me
In the dark I am consumed
With no light I can not see
Front, the side, or back of me
In that bed I wish to stay
Asleep for days upon days
If only to stay within my dreams

I wish to stay in this deep sleep

Its finally that time of year! YAY is the least i can say but otherwise i hope everyone has a wonderful christmas happy holidays and all that jazz...and spends tons of time and money with and one their loved ones lol! luv all ya'll! nite<3